Times, they are a’changing…

I thought about my life today in ways that is the same as last year and in ways that it is different.  Things have changed and I don’t like them.  I was talking to Gamboa about it today, because lately, it feels like she is the only one I can talk to.  And she has been a blessing, believe me.  If I had to keep everything inside, I’d probably drive myself crazy.  If I haven’t already.

I can’t wait until I graduate.  I never thought I’d hear myself say that, but I can’t.  I said in a few entries again, I feel like this is high school all over again and I hate high school.  Exept it feels now like it’s high school without anyone close.  At least in high school I had Sabrina and Leah, but I don’t have them anymore.  And Lauren is half way across the world but she probably wouldn’t understand anyway.  I feel as though I’m halfway across the world.  And maybe I am. 

But things have to get better soon.  I’ll graduate and go on with life.  Eventually I suppose I’ll build up immunity to this state of being, but for now, it just hurts. 

Before you all think I’m all depressed, I’m really not.  I’ve been blessed with so much so it seems silly to complain so much.  But slowly, I beginning to think that people really only tolerate me and I think that because of their actions.  Words really mean nothing if you can’t back them up with genuine attempts and actions.  And that hurts.  That’s all I’m saying, I’m just venting, and I’m not going crazy or depressed or anything.


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